Here's a post not related to breast cancer but health related anyway. Ever since I had my hospital stay in 2013 my bowels have been giving me trouble. Right after I got out of the hospital I had continuous diarrhea. I started taking Imodium and that subsided but then I started getting constipated so I started taking Metamucil. Last year it was under control but in December I started having rectal bleeding so when I came back from my vacation I scheduled an appointment with my General doctor and he referred me to a Gastroenterologist.

Today I saw the Gastro and he ordered a colonoscopy. I've known that I probably needed one for a while now but having heard all kinds of horror stories I had been avoiding it. This time I fully intent to go through with it. After I came back from the doctor's office I started searching the internet for tips. Everyone who commented on the subject agrees that the worst part is the bowel "preparation" or "prep" namely bowel cleansing. The taste of the "prep" liquid is said to be awful and is recommended to chase it with Crystal light to help with the taste and to use a straw and a glass with a lid.

The day before the procedure I am to start on a "clear" liquid diet starting in the morning. This diet includes black coffee, Jello and carbonated soda so that's not too bad. Starting at 3 pm I am to start drinking the "prep" mixture taking 240 ml every 15 minutes, which will take 4 hours to finish the bottle. About an hour after I take the first dose I will have to start making trips to the restroom and will continue so until the waste is clear. Oh joy! This all sounds so incredibly good!

Then there is the procedure, according to what I read they will be putting a "twilight" sedative and pain killers (The nurse at the clinic mentioned the sedative but not the pain killers so I'll make sure to ask for pain medicine because the twilight usually doesn't work for me). The clinic I went to did not mention an IV but their brochure did and now I am trying to contact them to see if it would be possible for them to use my "port" to put in the sedative and the pain killers otherwise it is going to be painful since I can only use my left arm because I have lymphedema on the right arm an my veins are poor. According to the comments if I can get well sedated I won't feel a thing, I can only hope.

Having said all that in the end I will do it and go through whatever I have to go through so I can be screened for colon cancer, I am sure they will find polyps I just hope they are not cancerous. Please God don't let them be cancerous.

Aurora

Well, 2014 is gone, Welcome 2015! I spent the last month of the year in Mexico with my parents and also went to visit my long time friend Alma Rosa in Puebla whom I hadn't seen in 6 years. Alma and I have been friends for 23 years and even though we don't see each other in person for extended periods of time we remain as close as when we lived in Cancun, Mexico. She is a cancer survivor, having had cancer in the Uterus back then. She also knows a lot about self-help psychology and specially she has physically cared for several cancer patients including her cousin recently. She has also had to deal with a lot of death. Her parents', her first boyfriend's death and 12 years ago her sister Connie's death which left her emotionally incapacitated for two years.

Last year when I fractured my leg and was in the hospital for three months and a half, Alma was sure I was going to die and felt really sad and became even more lonely than ever. I was not able to reassure her during that time given the fact that I was heavily sedated but now that she has seen me in person she has regained some hope that my death is not imminent. However I did cautioned her that we must be prepared for the inevitable because after all Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer has no cure as of right now.

Which brings me to the next point. Monday I have my monthly appointment for my Zometa (bone strength) infusion. But what has me upset is that Medicaid has once again refused to approve the PET scan and is indicating that a CT scan be done instead. The thing is back in October I had a CT and all it yielded was that the bones were healing, yet the tumor markers are rising so how can it be? Only a PET scan can answer that. So Monday when I go to the clinic I will ask to speak to the doctor and plead with her to have her people deal with Medicaid and tell them it is MEDICALLY necessary to have a PET not a CT. Otherwise I am willing to pay for private insurance, I would rather know for sure what I am dealing with rather than switching treatments "blindly".

It was great not to think about this cancer "stuff" and all it implies during my vacation, but now it's back to reality. I intend to continue working on keeping a healthy mental attitude, I can't be "happy" all the time but at least I'll remain hopeful. Writing this helps a lot because I can go back and re-read and watch overtime how my thinking evolves and how I deal with the ups and downs.

Till next time,
Aurora